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I won't go into vast detail about my new job. I will simply list a few recent experiences I've had and let you take it from there.

1.) A distraught woman brings me a polo shirt she wants to buy. She says she can't buy it because it's "defective" and wants another of the same color and style. I look over the green and white-striped shirt. It looks fine. The woman, annoyed, points out the "defect" to me: a tiny thread on the collar, less than half a centimeter long.

2.) Another woman, who's bought three large bags of clothing from me and used the pile of discount coupons I GAVE HER, gets pissed off at me when I ring up her last item. One T-shirt that's not covered by the coupons. She paid full price for one item. . .and received 20-75% price markdowns on at least seven others. Still, she leaves Spendorama unhappy.

3.) A kid (age 18-ish) expects me to ring up his purchase (a $50 pair of jeans) with a receipt for a gift card. He doesn't have the gift card with him just then. Can't I just use the receipt? No, I tell him. He calls me a "dick" and storms out.

4.) A woman loses it because I don't take time to fold the pile of clearance shirts she bought just so. I "disrespected" her purchases, she bitches.

5.) A man loses it because I take time to fold the two pairs of slacks he bought just so. He was in a hurry, he complains.

Oh Lordy. Home Hell Home!