Karl Pilkington is a Fothermucking Genius

"Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine." ---Karl Pilkington


Ricky Gervais is funny too. But he was funnier when he was fat.

Click here to revel in more of Mr. Pilkington's visionary insights:


http://www.pilkingtonquote.com/

New 2012 Presidential Candidate Throws Hat in the Ring

Now that Michelle "Clueless" Bachmann has woken up and smelled the coffee, she's left a gap in the Republican Presidential race. As a replacement for the buttheaded Bachmann, please allow Brother John to suggest a much smarter and cooler replacement. I hereby scooby-di-na-na-nominate, by his first and last names. . .

Roosevelt Franklin! The smoothest Sesame to ever stroll down the Street!

Breaking Music News: Jim Morrison. . .

. . .is still dead.

"Yeah," said the former Doors frontman in an exclusive interview with Psychic Guano Magazine. "I'm pretty far out of the loop, for sure."

When asked for his opinions on the current music scene, Morrison proved as reticent as ever. "Obviously, I'm not as tuned in to the new stuff as I once was. I spend most of my time jamming with old blues guys, like Son House and John Lee Hooker. I used to crash at Howlin' Wolf's place every night. Until, that is, he caught me and Brian Jones double-teaming Nico on the living room sofa. Kicked our asses to the street. Wolf said we ruined the naugahyde. That motherfucker blows a mean harp, but when it comes to the homestead, he's as domestic as Ward Cleaver."

In closing, Morrison was asked if he had any messages for the physical world. The singer/poet took a pull from his bottle of Dos Equis (during the 20-minute interview, he drained 12 bottles of the dark Mexican beer) and stroked his beard thoughtfully for a long minute before replying.

"Uh, sure. Seances, prayers and that shit are like phone calls from salesmen up here. We don't dig them. So cut it out. Oh, and stop dumping shit on my grave. I'm meeting Anne Sexton for drinks. Gotta go. Bye."

Nick Drake: "River Man"

This is just one of the best songs ever. You can find it on Drake's first album, Five Leaves Left. Play it on a gray day, looking out your kitchen window while drinking a cup of tea. Great stuff. Why this man wasn't feted in 1969 as the British Dylan is beyond me. At least we have the music.

J.D. Salinger 1919-2010

"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
— J.D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye)

"The most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid."
— J.D. Salinger (Nine Stories)

“I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It’s disgusting."
— J.D. Salinger (Franny and Zooey)

"I don't really deeply feel that anyone needs an airtight reason for quoting from the works of the writers he loves, but it's always nice, I'll grant you, if he has one."
— J.D. Salinger (Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction)

Off to the library, Kindred Souls. I'll be there, too.

I'm now on Twitter

For any of you who still care: Brother John is now on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/johnleftsfield2

Just toying with the idea of emerging from seclusion. Loves the idea of brief posts on the Twitter! Maybe I'll become the Eric Hoffer of Twitter. Or not.

Obi-John Commands You!

Hello Kindred Souls, if there are any of you still out there. Retired blogger John Left here, emerging from contented seclusion for ONE TIME and one time ONLY to bring you a Very Important message.

To make it easy for ya, Brother John is going to break the message down into two easy-to-swallow parts:

1.) Election Day is next Tuesday. Don’t even think about not voting. You have to. And I’m not just saying that it’s crucial that you cast your ballot---it is, more than ever before. I’m also ORDERING you to do so. Yes, just like your dad. I’m using the Jedi mind-melding trick. I have been since you started reading this. You will vote next Tuesday. You will. You have no choice. Vote. Vote. Vote! And haul at least two friends to the polls, too. Obi-John commands you!

2.) Friends, these are dire times we’re living in. Back in the day, I used to say that human life is not a partisan issue. It’s still true---truer now, in fact, than ever before, which is why you simply must vote Tuesday. ‘member on Sesame Street when they used to play that game, “One of These Things is Not Like the Other”? Where they’d put two very similar objects side-by-side and you’d have to tell how one differed from the other? Wellp, evidently some of us still find that task to be a challenge, so I’m going to make it easy for you. When you go to mark your ballot next Tuesday (And you will. You will!), just vote for:

Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama


This way, we’ll have a supergroovycool America and a niftyneatoswell Earth to live in/on, at least for another four years. Got it?

Good. So vote for Obama already! Peace, out.