Breaking Music News: Jim Morrison. . .

. . .is still dead.

"Yeah," said the former Doors frontman in an exclusive interview with Psychic Guano Magazine. "I'm pretty far out of the loop, for sure."

When asked for his opinions on the current music scene, Morrison proved as reticent as ever. "Obviously, I'm not as tuned in to the new stuff as I once was. I spend most of my time jamming with old blues guys, like Son House and John Lee Hooker. I used to crash at Howlin' Wolf's place every night. Until, that is, he caught me and Brian Jones double-teaming Nico on the living room sofa. Kicked our asses to the street. Wolf said we ruined the naugahyde. That motherfucker blows a mean harp, but when it comes to the homestead, he's as domestic as Ward Cleaver."

In closing, Morrison was asked if he had any messages for the physical world. The singer/poet took a pull from his bottle of Dos Equis (during the 20-minute interview, he drained 12 bottles of the dark Mexican beer) and stroked his beard thoughtfully for a long minute before replying.

"Uh, sure. Seances, prayers and that shit are like phone calls from salesmen up here. We don't dig them. So cut it out. Oh, and stop dumping shit on my grave. I'm meeting Anne Sexton for drinks. Gotta go. Bye."